University Beavers vs Western Subrubs (Match Report)

Final Result: University Beavers: 1 Western Suburbs: 2

Player of the Day: Guy Simmo

Having been unceremoniously postponed an easy three points the weekend before against a potential seller dweller/ wooden spooner, the Beavers were out in force on this tempestuous day in the capital, albeit with a handful of casualties before the game had even commenced. Battery had evidentially paid for biting one too many people’s faces by copping one in the aforementioned area. We had our usual quota of hangovers; Wilkinson appeared to be in some genuine distress this time round as he couldn’t even remember who had won the previous nights tennis matches. And to top it off yours truly levelled his own face out with a schweetly timed volley. Perhaps we should have seen the warning signs.

The game progressed erratically for the first 5 minutes as both teams were coming to grips with the howling gale blowing behind the Suburbs’ backs. However the game soon kick-started into action on the sidelines seeing a minor fraca between the ref and the Beaver bench. This was about the only confrontation in which the Beavers would experience a victory all day. The Western Suburbs’ tippers were clearly hell-bent on revenge for what they perceived to be “partial” adjudicating three-weekends ago when the two teams last met. Roughly 10 minutes yonder the Beavers experienced a communication breakdown with nobody in the midfield or backline accounting for the pensioner in the middle of the pitch with acres of space. A fluky chip over the top from one of the Suburbs’ players saw the old man in possession with ‘Mad Dog’ stranded in a no win position. Perhaps the initial shock of having been given the privilege of calling offsides on our defensive line could explain why Wilko rudely kept his flag down and allowed the suburbs their first goal of the match.

12th Minute, 1 - 0 SUBURBS

For the remaining of the first half, the Beavers gained ascendancy all over the park except for the one defining area: the goal mouth. Despite getting ourselves into goal scoring positions, the rub of the green wasn’t going our way. As we warmed into the game we started using more width of the amply sized ground, and really began to turn their big men around especially at the back. The halftime bell couldn’t have come at a better time for those fuck wits.

The second half began in much the same fashion as the first; a stalemate fraught for possession in the middle, complimented with some territory finding boots to touch, and the customary niggles between players and ref. Then out of nowhere another fortuitous bounce of the ball led to the Western Suburbs’ second goal of the match. Not much point on analysing this goal such was the lucky nature of it.

70th Minute, 2 - 0 SUBURBS

An ensuing altercation saw tensions all but boil completely over which culminated in their faggot up front getting subbed off. This provided the Beavers the spark they needed all game. The resulting lift in intensity and effort by the Beavers almost realised a spectacular comeback of epic proportions. It was this mongrelesque intensity which provided us with our only goal of the match. After a sustained period of play camped in their goal box, the beavers grinded out a scrappy goal in which the ball went through numerous pairs of feet before landing under the able guise of Guy Simmo who obliged by slotting home from close range.

80th Minute, Guy Simmo goal: 2 - 1 BEAVERS

Thereafter the Beavers toiled hard but to no avail as the stormy weather dictated the rest of the match. Despite our best efforts the ball would be camped in the right corner of the Suburbs’ half. The final whistle blew prematurely to say the least but we had no choice but to accept the result for that moment.

Positives to come out of this match for the Beavers were few and far between, however they will be encouraged by the resilience shown despite falling into a two goal deficit midway through the second half. For the Western Suburbs they will be thanking the heavens for the biggest boilover in Capital 10 history.

Reporter: Geange